So recent events in my working and personal life plus the culmination of old wounds and issues immediately sparked a weeks worth of bitter tirades, debates and me writing the first song I’ve done in 2 years. This is nothing new; if you know me well enough you’ve heard a rant or twenty about certain hot-button subjects of mine. But the strange thing is, I realized want to stop.

I don’t want to be that person anymore who harbors so much bitterness and anger over things that are beyond my control or even worse, things that are just old and need to be water under the bridge instead of an emotional landmine. I’m just so exhausted from years of carrying the weight of grudges and past hurt that I’m just…done. I feel like I’ve finally come to a point where I can shed it and move forward. I have a good life and I need to learn how to truly enjoy it instead of wasting time boo-hooing about how I’ve been hurt, overanalyzing other’s actions or the worst of it, being judgmental and talking shit like I’m some emo teenage girl and not a 27-year-old wife and mother.

So I admit it. I suck. I sometimes tend to get caught up in negativity and the emotional equivalent of beating a dead horse and it has affected relationships with people I love. With that being said, I want, truly want, to be a better person. So here is a list I wrote in my journal earlier today of things I need to remember. And if you know me and are reading this, please, for the love, keep me accountable okay?

• I can’t always control my circumstances but I can control my reactions and the decisions I make.
• 10 Virtually Instant Ways to Improve Your Life
• the Ethic of Reciprocity
• the Serenity Prayer
• Dare to Believe
• Be an example of grace, kindness, empathy, LOVE, mercy.
• Stay inspired and inspire others.
• FORGIVE other people and myself.
• Enjoy life and the people I love.
• Emotions serve to guide decisions, not control them.
• Hope never dies.
• Life is short.
• Hold no grudges.
• Have patience.
• “The courteous learn from the discourteous”
• Love fully and let myself be loved.
• Venting is ok, but if the complaint is always the same I am obviously doing nothing to remedy my situation.
• Take risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
• You can’t save someone from themselves.
• “Older and wiser” is only true if you learn and grow from your mistakes.
• It’s nice be important, but it’s important to be nice.